Ooh, day...

Day, you broke my heart today, a little, but you're not over yet. You've still got time to pull it through.

First, it you took away my Active Directory-integrated DNS on my server. So everyone's Internet crumbled like a stack of cards. Yeah, I'm looking at you, day. Sure, you doled out the discoveries: you taught me how to break my Internet and restore it without flying into a tizzy or having users approach me with pitchforks. Soon, perhaps, you'll let me use NSLOOKUP without fear of retribution. Come on, day, you can do it.

Second, you sent me a box. But not just any box, day, the box that should have held the little Airport Express thingy I ordered more than two weeks ago. You and those Apple folk pulled a little prank on me last time by sending it to the building but not the suite number where I worked. It all worked out in the end, though, or at least it should have if there were anything inside the box. Instead, empty of anything but a packing slip and some brown paper, meant, I imagine, to cushion the nothing they sent.

Remember that moment in "Se7en" when Brad Pitt looks into the box? And you never see what's there but you just know what's inside? I think it was this:

PACKING LIST

Ship to:
Golden field by power lines

Ship from:
Constant rainy, hellish city

Line number:
002

Quantity shipped:
1

Part number:
M9470LL/H

Description:
Human head, blonde, female, blue eyes, possible future star of "Shallow Hal," "View from the Top"

I would have shot Kevin Spacey, too, whether or not he had anything to do with it. That would have made my day.