Thursday, October 05, 2006

World's Worst / World's Best

I'm two days late for my second posting of this, so I'll try to snazz it up some.

World's Worst Hairdresser:
"I find I do all my best work with sheep shears and Nair."

World's Best Hairdresser:
"I styled your beehive tall enough to plug the hole in the ozone layer I made creating it."

- and another -

World's Worst Online Poker Player:
"I really love the feeling of having four aces and no pants. Fold."

World's Best Online Poker Player:
"I can tell you're sweating, ncc1701_4eva. Your IP just blinked."

- and -

A shout out to my Columbus connection, Dave and Karen Maxwell, who have contributed marvelous comments to my first "World's Worst / World's Best" post, and who are just awesome in general. Good luck with Maxwell 1.4!

Here is my favorite of Dave's comments:

World's Best Pirate:
"Arr, me harties!"

World's Worst Pirate:
"Me heart! Me arteries!" *thunk*

Also, because I think I made this exceptionally unclear in my first "World's Worst / World's Best" entry, please do not feel that you *have* to submit a full entry to join in the fun. I would love it if you would send me even careers you would like to see spoofed, which I will turn around and add whatever spin I can dig up in a week or less. Thanks for your comments so far (Maxwells, I'm looking at you) and I look forward to hearing from you again.

4 comments:

David M Maxwell said...

Well, given some of the other recent topics of discussion around here, I'd like to hear your Best/Worst... Radio Shack Salesman.

Mua ha ha haaaa!

*evil grin*

agjur

Karen said...

How about Best/Worst Real Estate Agents?

Oh, I've got one best dentist (still have not found one) worst dentist (pretty much every one I've met)

Matt said...

World's Worst Radio Shack Employee:
"After you buy the extended warranty, I MIGHT ask you out to the soldering expo."

World's Best Radio Shack Employee:
"Welcome to the Genius Bar."

Brandi. said...

Best Real Estate Agent:
My name is Iliana.

Worst Real Estate Agent:
This was my unit, so I upgraded everything. I made all of the bedrooms smaller to add a hallway to the closet. I count the foyer as a room. Did I mention everything is granite? Not just regular granite - the highest quality granite in the building. Oh, I shopped specifically for those light fixtures. I know you love them. Let me show you the 12x12 upstairs duplex...let's just exit out the back door and travel up these stairs to the roof. What do you mean it's Chicago and this isn't really a room, as you can only use it for 40 days out of the year? I have a parking space too. It's the end unit, so you're not cramped and don't have to worry about cars hitting you. I'll call your agent in the morning: did they like it, did they like it, did they like? No, I didn't really see them backing away..I'll call your agent the next day too -- did I mention there's special financing with a guaranteed interest rate only for this unit? Call me, I know you loved it.

(Sorry, this might be a little insiderish.)