Monday, October 09, 2006

The Coffee Controversy

The change in weather surprised me. Summer passed faster than the Indy 500, though with less repetition. I knew intellectually that Chicago's summer more or less dies after Labor Day. I knew that Brandi and I would go to New York City a hair before Labor Day and return a few days after. I somehow could not reconcile that emotionally with the cold weather. I'm no atomic clock, but it feels like we should just be easing into July. Halloween slapping us in the face is kind of a slap. In the face.

I'm glad it's here, though. Autumn is for me what breakfast is to a lot of people. I can enjoy it any time. I love the look and the smell, the crunch of leaves under my feet, fireplaces burning just enough wood to melt the ice caps another 10 million tons. My new Canon DSLR takes great foliage pictures and I'm blessed to work on a campus with lots of colorful trees. Getting out of work at the golden hour doesn't hurt, either. I caught myself thinking how much I loved the smell of this time of year as I left work when I suddenly realized that it wasn't just rotting leaves and crisp weather, but the velvety fallout from the Blommer Chocolate Factory. I miss living closer to that.

Autumn also takes a lot of pressure off my wardrobe. Summers like our last stink for exercise. When going outside for exercise is like going to a loan shark for credit consolidation, you can kiss your six pack goodbye. In the fall, I can wear long sleeve shirts and pants, and they look good on me. My big legs look best under a bit of fabric. Last year for Christmas, Mom got me lined pants, and three seasons of the year they feel smashing (the fourth feels like a rainforest, sticky, hot and with its own microclimate). In the fall, there's no shame for wanting cool weather. We call it "enjoying nature".

The downside of all this joy is that sometimes I freeze my skin off. Our office manager puts the air conditioning on when temperatures rise above 65 degrees (F). Everyone else has space heaters. I work with computers, and if I had a proper server room, I probably wouldn't complain, but thanks to a spate of hiring, we have a housing crunch at one of my offices. Our backbone computers and network gear are scattered across several cubicles, protected from theft or damage only by luck and ignorance, of which we have a good deal. The waste heat will not keep me warm. I've resorted to drinking hot beverages: tea, broth, and yes, even coffee.

I never used to like the taste of coffee. Tea I found passable, if you steep it overnight and add lots of sweetener, it's like hot gatorade. Coffee is harder to disguise. Like beer, most of the grownups who drank it while I was growing up said I would learn to like it in college. I didn't drink alcohol until two years after I graduated Miami, and I still don't particularly like beer. Coffee eluded me even longer. I get enough pep from soda and a good night's sleep. I am no stranger to the nap. The bitterness turned me off for a long time, until I discovered creamer, or, as it is sometimes called, whitener.

Adding cream, milk or those weird powders that sit next to sugar in pretty much every office in the western world changes everything. Bitter coffee turns into something like coffee ice cream. I can drink it without trying to scrape my tongue out with a fork. My stomach forgives me and all the artificial sweeteners I cram in. I feel more satisfied with something warm inside of me, and I no longer have to wear seven sweaters to work.

Caffeine? What was that? I can't hear you over the sound of my gnawing my nails down to nubbins. Yeah, there's some caffeine in coffee. Once, I saw a chart comparing beverages for caffeine content. Mountain Dew has something like two cups of regular Folgers coffee's worth of caffeine in it. Chocolate has caffeine, but it probably won't keep you up all night. The big surprise comes from Starbucks. They way over-caffeinate. If you've ever stood behind someone in a Starbucks line complaining about the need to get his/her fix, you're not far away from truth. Starbucks decaf has more caffeine than regular coffee. I don't even want to think about their regular. I've heard even visualizing the venti size can cause chest pains.

Funny enough, I only think about this after I've consumed my fifth or sixth cup of decaf and feel like pain cannot affect me. Why even bother calling it "decaf" if you're going to fall that far short? That's like saying, "We're sending the Apollo astronauts to the Moon or Australia, whichever. Heads it's Australia." I get nervous, sleep-phobic, and all of the typical traits of your average overcaffeinated wage earner. Perhaps one of the reasons coffee keeps me warm is the way it ramps up my metabolism.

I don't like the idea of being dependent on a drug for my energy. Vacations past, I have returned to see my folks or other essential familial event, having recently completed some large project. I head to bed early and sleep in late. Withdrawal makes me boring.

What's to do? I'll probably take some good Knorr vegetable bouillon cubes to work for a salty pick-me-up. I may have to lay off the coffee for a while. Every health expert tells you to get more sleep. Perhaps my seasonally affected disorder will fall in line when I move somewhere sunnier. In any case, like many, many people, I will endeavor to drink less coffee, get more exercise, and enjoy life a lot more. Even if it's not too beautiful to ignore doesn't mean it's not beautiful enough to appreciate.

4 comments:

David M Maxwell said...

If you're looking for a hot drink with lower caffeine, I could recommend any good blend of white or rooibos teas. Rooibos is caffeine free and quite tasty, and white tea trades a very small caffeine content for a very high level of antiodixants. Either can be blended with fruit or spices.

Matt said...

I'm curious about how to blend fruit/spices into tea. Do you have to dry or powder them? Or do you mean with a blender? (I'm guessing, no.) If you *do* mean dried or powdered and you *are* who you say you are, where do you get the additional fruit/spice supplies?

Sorry for all the nosy questions.

David M Maxwell said...

Well, other than the whole username / password thing, I really can't prove that I am who I say I am, although you can't prove that I'm not, can you Mr. Randi? Mwa ha ha ha! Would you like an M&M?

Ahem.

First a side note on the powdered / dried thing: Dried, yes. Powdered, good lord no. It would saturate the tea with a strong flavor. You'd be drinking fruit juice with a hint of tea, instead of flavored tea. Powdering it would also make the tea cloudy, and what you want is a tea that is clear. Clear tea, clear taste. Cloudy tea will also end up bitter as it cools. Powdered/Cloudy tea should be brought to your nearest sink, preferably one with a garbage disposal, and summarily dismissed.

So, in the tea bag, or rather, pyramid shaped mesh sachet, (yes, I'm drinking snobby tea now...) you'll find little bits of dried citrus fruit, zest, or shards of cinnamon, or what ever adds to the flavor of the tea.

If you want to experiment with your own fruit blends, get a wire mesh tea ball. They're not expensive at all and can be found in most grocery stores or beverage shops. Also get a citrus zester if you don't have one already. Pick your favorite tea, tear open the bag (or sachet) and add a gram or so of citrus zest to the ball along with your tea. It takes some experimentation, but you can come up with some good flavors. The fresher the ingredients, the stronger the flavor. I like Green Tea or even Black Chai, with just a little orange zest. It adds a nice little kick.

David M Maxwell said...

Forgot to add this: Yesterday, a co-worker of mine got an extra IcedVentiCaramelMacchiata at the local Starbucks. He gave it to me. I'd never had Starbucks coffee before. I was seeing double for about 20 minutes. Then, I was just plain vibrating in my chair for a good three hours. Experiment with Starbucks coffee complete, I'm returning to the tea. That's just way too damn much caffeine. It hurt.